I need to change...

I don’t adapt well to change. Even change that’s intended for good can be a little draining to me. I get comfortable with how things are. Now don’t get me wrong, I know change can be good and is necessary, but in the midst of it I find myself longing for the familiar. I’ve been thinking about this a lot as one friend recently moved and two others are graduating and moving on very soon. I can still remember the last day of my internship at the Wesley Foundation, saying goodbye to one of my fellow interns, closest friends, and accountability partners. We were standing in front of Scott’s office literally weeping and one of the students was taking pictures! I can only imagine how those turned out! Little did I know that this friend and I would be reunited a few years later at seminary. I get so accustomed to seeing/talking to the same people everyday and when that’s gone, there’s a void there. I know that in time that that void will be filled with someone else and although that particular friend will still hold a place in my heart, that desire to talk to them everyday will slowly fade making those times when you do talk all the more precious.

After Easter we are starting a new series in the Refuge called “ineed2change.org: 40 Days of Change”. We’re working on a devotional booklet where people are reflecting on how God has brought about change in their lives. Obviously this is good change, but I have a feeling as we start reading these, that a lot of that change will have some pain tied to it somewhere. As much as we desire God to change us, it usually requires us to give up something we’ve been holding on to. It requires us to move out of the way to allow God to do something incredible. It requires us to give up control and trust that God’s ways are so much better than our own. God’s been changing me for…well, forever, I suppose but even more so in the last year. It has required me to let other people in when I’ve wanted to deal with things on my own. I’ve had to put down my pride and see that sometimes what may seem like a painful step can bring us one step closer to healing...to redemption.