Scratch that last post....well, some of it.

Last Tuesday afternoon, I got a phone call from my boss asking if I could come talk to him for a few minutes. From the tone in his voice, I knew it couldn’t be good. With butterflies in my stomach, I made my way back to the church. When I got there, I not only found Jerry but Brian as well, waiting for me. It was then my heart sank. We sat down and made some small talk and finally Jerry broke the news. Due to budget cuts, my position at the church is being laid off. I’ve never experienced a conversation like this before, but I can imagine there’s just no positive way to go about that. Both Jerry and Brian were very affirming of my gifts and have been super supportive in doing whatever it takes to get me back on my feet. Although I was initially shocked and upset about the news, I quickly moved into survival mode, trying to discern what my next step will be. (I’m also a delayed reactor. Ask April about the apartment fire of 2002!) I called Corey, my Starbucks manager and on Monday I returned back to Starbucks. He offered me a new position as a shift supervisor, so although the pay will be significantly less, I’m grateful to have a job to go back to. What I’ve realized through all this is how quick I am to take care of other people, but not so quick to allow other people to take care of me and that’s what I really need right now. As long as I’m busy I’m fine. It’s when I have time to just be still and think that I get anxious. I’ve had the last couple of days off and although it’s been good to get caught up on laundry and the like, I feel restless. I have no idea what the future holds. It’s exciting but it’s also scary. I like to be control. Let’s face it, who doesn’t? What I do know is that I want to finish my counseling degree. It’s always been in the back of my mind, but after several conversations and some soul-searching the last couple of weeks, I really want to do it. It’s the how, when, and where I’m not sure about. Ideally I would love to finish at Asbury since that’s where I earned my MDiv, but school of any kind is expensive, even moreso there. It may be that I continue working at Starbucks and take one class a semester online for the time being. I’m just not sure and for a planner, that’s a little daunting.

While I was packing up my office earlier this week, I saw this fortune taped to my computer. I remember the day I read it. Aren’t we all looking for that gift of contentment? I had become so complacent with my life that I didn’t even realize how un-content I was. Although I miss my co-workers like crazy, I wasn’t content in my job. And since I wasn’t really doing anything about that, I guess God decided to give me a little push towards something better. Don’t get me wrong, I learned a ton while I was there and I’m so grateful that Trinity allowed me the opportunity to work there and gain experience. Now I’m trying to take life one day at a time, cherish the incredible support I have from my wonderful friends and family, and enjoy the journey.

P.S. Happy Belated Birthday to my wonderful friend, Kari Curtis! Miss you, friend!