Thoughts from a Single Girl.

I recently read a great blog post on singleness, specifically being a "Single Lady". Thank you, Beyonce, for writing a song just for us, by the way. After posting it to my Facebook, one of my married friends commented on how grateful she was to read it & how she appreciated hearing what we single gals go through. It's interesting to me how so many of my married girlfriends have "forgotten" what it's like to be single. Now granted I have a lot of friends who got married right out of elementary school, I mean high school, so they probably have forgotten, but I feel like its something I'll never forget, even after I've been married for awhile. After reading Lincee's post, it got me thinking about rituals that have been bestowed upon the single girl, such as the bouquet toss at weddings. Now don't get me wrong, I'm sure it's intent was to be a fun way to include those of us who are unfortunate to show up to a wedding unwed, or God forbid , dateless, but I rarely find women who are excited about showcasing their singleness at a wedding, so why must we parade ourselves to the middle of the floor for all to watch as we humiliatingly wait for the bride to peg one of us with her bouquet? Not to mention that as we get older we find ourselves surrounded by 20-somethings or even worse, standing there alone. Even as I'm honored to have a cute boy on my arm at a friend's wedding this weekend, I can honestly say, I still do not want to be "singled" out. It's really not good for the self-esteem & it causes one to think that singleness is not good or meant to be celebrated. It is. Now I do want to get married some day, to the man God chooses for me, but in the meantime, I want to feel like my singleness is as much to be celebrated as getting married or having a baby. I realize it may not be as exciting or glamorous, but it's certainly not worth the looks of pity or concern that older women in particular like to pass down.

My favorite incident happened a year or so ago while I was working the bar at Starbucks. A woman I've known most of my life was standing there & we were chatting about her family & her recent grandchild. At one point in the conversation she looked at me & said, "What about you? I bet your mom is ready for you to give her a grandbaby." At that moment I actually felt judged for being single & childless, as if it's my choice that I haven't met the right guy to marry & have children. I think I just looked at her a little stunned & told her nicely that I have a mom who wants me to be happy & if that includes children one day, then wonderful. If not, her life will not be any less complete. What I really wanted to do was dump her extra hot latte all over her body, but I didn't. It's what most women her age in the South, especially, think is "right".

So the next time you're hanging out with a single girl, how about celebrating with her all the exciting things going on in her life that may or may not include a significant other. Trust me, we'll appreciate it!