grace eventually.

Over the years I have become a firm believer in carrying on all of my luggage when I fly. I've had too many experiences with lost luggage and it's just a headache I'd rather not deal with. On my recent trip to Atlanta, I decided I'd check my luggage since it's a non-stop flight. I knew that the airlines had become strict on the sizes of liquid containers you could carry on, but what I hadn't learned is what they consider a liquid. I decide to carry-on my make-up since I had to leave my house at 6:30am and I knew I'd have a few minutes to put it on before my flight boarded. I checked in to the airport at 8:05am (this is a small miracle considering I'm usually running to my gate)! I had a good half hour before my flight boarded so I headed to the bathroom to make myself pretty. At 8:25 I'm on my way to my gate. As my bag was going through the scanner, the gentleman asked if I had any liquids. I said no. I wasn't lying--I just didn't know. After my bag scans they pull it off and put it to the side. Another gentleman walks up to me and says, "Are you aware that you have liquids?" Um, no. I proceed to explain that I do have make-up. He looks at me like I'm an idiot. He opens my bag, pulls out the make-up bag and begins taking out my foundation and lipgloss. "These are creams. They are to be scanned separately in a clear ziploc bag. Do you have a ziploc bag?" Um, no. Again, he looks at me like I'm an idiot and pulls one out of a drawer. "We have one but in the future you need to make sure all liquids are presented in a clear ziploc bag." I smile and say thank you. He continues to look at me as though I have inconvenienced him. Then he begins spraying his GLOVED hands with cleaner as if my make-up is toxic! Do they not supply enough gloves to warrant a new pair in-between bag searches? I took my bag and proceeded to my gate. Needless to say, I checked my make-up on the way back.

I will write more about my trip next time. I have another crazy week ahead! Whee!

I have a new addiction...the tv show, Heroes. My best friend told me that if I started watching it that I would love it. She was right. When it started last season, I just couldn't fit another show into my life. I had Lost, Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, House (occasionally), Gilmore Girls and Studio 60. Gilmore Girls ended last year and Studio 60 was cancelled (stupid tv critics!). Since Lost doesn't start til January and two of my shows are no longer, I thought I'd try it. I went to Movie Gallery last Friday and picked up the first disc. I watched it all in one sitting, got back in my car and got the second disc! This past weekend I've watched discs 3, 4, and 5. I only have one left...3 episodes!!! I found out today that after spending close to $20 on renting the first season, my friend John has had them all along. He's bringing me the last disc tomorrow! I have another crazy week ahead of me so it may be Friday before I watch it, but at least I don't have to worry about late fees! I'm 3 episodes behind on the new season, but thanks to the great technology of the internet, I can catch up in no time!

I'm always amazed at how life works sometimes. I was so looking forward to my day off on Friday...sleeping in, a noonday hair appointment that included a cut AND highlight (I haven't done that since January), a few errands, and whatever else that I wanted to do. I ended up staying up late Thursday night watching Grey's Anatomy and Chuck on the internet. I love that these tv companies have decided to air their shows online, especially when I forget to record them! Anyway, it was close to 2am before I fell asleep and I woke up at 8! 8am on my day off! I immediately noticed that I couldn't breathe. Great! I first thought it was allergies...my body is still adjusting to being back in LA, not to mention that it's still really hot in October! But, it's now Sunday and I'm still congested and feeling groggy. I'm not a good sick person. I did get my hair cut and highlighted, but I didn't feel well the whole time I was there. Then I remembered that I had told a friend I would cover an hour and a half of her shift at Starbucks b/c her husband had to be at work at 5 which meant she had to take over kid-duty. So I headed up there from 5-6:30. I'm always happy to help Sarah out...she's incredibly generous and will help out with shifts whenever she can, which is unfortunately rare in our Starbucks world, so she generally gets stuck with everyone else's shift and rarely can get someone to offer her the same favor. I just wish it hadn't happened on Friday. So, that was my "day off." I'm learning I need to be a little more protective of it, especially considering that there are a few Saturdays such as this weekend when I will be scheduled to work at Starbucks. When this happens, Friday really is the only day off I'll have for the week.

Tonight I agreed to spend the night with my 3 Godchildren while their parents are in Hot Springs celebrating their 10th wedding anniversary. Although I love spending time with them, I'm a little worried about how this is going to work with me being sick AND having to work from 9am-11pm tomorrow. Yikes!

This week looks to be a crazy work week. We're getting ready to do a teacher training with our Sunday School teachers on Wednesday night so the first part of the week will be spent preparing for that. Monday night I'm closing at Starbucks, Tuesday night I have CPR recertification with my nursery workers, Wednesday night is the teacher training and Thursday night we have an Education Committee meeting. My week is exploding already and all I can think about is Friday, when I will attempt to have my Sabbath for the week, only this time I will have nothing scheduled in my calendar and hopefully I'll be well by then to actually enjoy it:)

I feel like I'm whining...I'm not a fan of that, so thanks for listening to me whine today bloggy friends!

I love this photo...one, because I took it and we're actually centered and no one's cut out or halfway in. Two, because of the people in it. These are some of my Starbucks friends, probably the ones I'm closest too. Sarah and John are 28, Hannah just turned 20, and Aaron's 19. It's amazing that we can hang out and have fun and rarely think about the age differences in the group. I like that.

I'm amazed sometimes at how certain things can affect me...things I have been trying to train my mind not to let bother me as much as it does. For example, when I fail at something, I equate it to me being a failure, which is in no way true. I am my worst self-critic. Today I went up to Starbucks on my lunch break to say hi to some friends. My manager, Lori, was there whom I absolutely love and she mentioned that she had received a poor snapshot on me. A snapshot is a random once-a-month survey on how we're doing. I was working the front register that day which means they were rating how I took their order and how I treated them. This person said that I didn't speak to them, make eye-contact, or even take their order. I just gave them their total and took their money. My guess is that we were really busy (it was done right before 8am) and one of my other co-workers took their order in advance so that when they got to the register all they had to do was pay. I can't imagine not making eye contact or not saying anything. I have no real context to evaluate my own performance. As Lori and I were talking about it, she looked at me and said, "Now I don't want you to worry about this. I just wanted to make you aware." I wish I was able to do that...to think objectively about the situation and move on, but it's not that easy. I've been upset about it ever since I left. It reminds me again how important it is to not identify myself with my circumstances or those things I do...or not do, but instead remember that who I am, my worth, is found in God alone. This is what I'm always trying to teach other women, especially the college girls I interact with that are struggling to find their identity. The fact of the matter is that I'm still learning it myself at the age of 30.

I got off work at 11:30 last night and realized quickly how tired I was not. I always get this window each night that I need to go to bed if I'm actually going to fall asleep. Once that window passes, I know I'm going to be up til the wee hours of the morning. Last night was one of those nights, so I drove around for awhile. It was a perfect night to have the windows down. I can finally feel fall starting to set in. When I was in college I had a set path I would drive whenever I needed to get out of the house or some time to just be alone to think and pray. It's weird driving that same path now at 30 thinking about my life then, my life now. My prayers are not all that different, some of the same longings remain. I became aware of my impending loneliness all over again. Last night I remembered a day back in college when I had driven to the prayer garden on the outskirts of Ruston. I had just found out that my best friend, also coincidentally the love of my college life, was getting married. I felt lost and confused. I wondered if I would ever be happy again. A few months later the Lord took me in places I never thought I would go...Chicago, then seminary. He's provided me with the best friends a girl could ever have, but there are nights like last night when I still feel like I'm missing something, someone...a person to share my life with. At the same time I know marriage is not perfect...I have friends who have shared their struggles being a wife and mother. It's a huge committment, but still one I hope to be a part of someday. I was listening to Matt Wertz as I was driving...this is the song I kept coming back to.

Windows down as the night blows in
Tap the beat on the wheel as the tires spin
Until we're there crank the radio
We'll join in with the songs we know

Hey, everything's right, said everything's right tonight
Hey, everything's right, said everything's right tonight

Smiles light up as we walk in
Old conversations begin again
Nostalgia's thick as the August air
It takes us back to a time when we didn't care, we didn't care

Hey, everything's right, said everything's right tonight
Hey, everything's right, said everything's right tonight