Dreams, I have dreamsWhen I'm awake, when I'm asleep.
I love music. Nothing makes me happier than when friends introduce me to new music. The past couple of days, this song by Brandi Carlile has been running through my head. I got to see her in concert in New Orleans last March with some of my favorite girls from college and seminary.
I've been thinking about dreams a lot this week, mainly how as adults we don't dream like we did when we were kids. When I was younger I had dreams of being a teacher, an astronaut, a vet, a princess, a dancer, and I'm sure a slew of other things. I dreamed of being a mommy. Funny how I don't remember much about dreaming of being a wife. Maybe because when we're kids, we think boys have cooties. As I get older, I wonder what happened to my dreams. I think at any age we're entitled to dream, but the trials of life harden us. We become realists. We become bound by our finances, relationships, location, jobs. This is where I'm currently sitting. Earlier this week I began researching grad schools...some near, some far away. I began to dream about my future and I got excited...until reality set in. How in the world can I pursue another degree when I'm still paying for my first two? Is it a wise investment? Or am I just running into something comfortable? I've probably said here before that the thing I love about school is that it's planned out for you. You have a curriculum to follow for 2-4 years. There's an end so you don't have to worry about growing stagnant. Real life isn't really like that. I mean, sure, we try to plan out our perfect path, but 9 times out of 10, we get redirected along the way. Depending on your personality, this can either be scary or exciting. I fluctuate between the two. If I'm being honest 2011 has been a year of shattered dreams so far, not just for me but for so many that I care about...financial hardship, broken relationships, sickness. It becomes exhausting, really and at times can become constraining. I shared with a friend the other day, if I didn't have my relationship with Christ, I seriously don't know what I would do. I need my faith, I need to know that everything is temporal, I need to be reminded that it's not all about me.
So, I'm trusting that with each shattered dream, a new, better dream will emerge and I'm clinging to the One who promised to never let go...
I've been thinking about dreams a lot this week, mainly how as adults we don't dream like we did when we were kids. When I was younger I had dreams of being a teacher, an astronaut, a vet, a princess, a dancer, and I'm sure a slew of other things. I dreamed of being a mommy. Funny how I don't remember much about dreaming of being a wife. Maybe because when we're kids, we think boys have cooties. As I get older, I wonder what happened to my dreams. I think at any age we're entitled to dream, but the trials of life harden us. We become realists. We become bound by our finances, relationships, location, jobs. This is where I'm currently sitting. Earlier this week I began researching grad schools...some near, some far away. I began to dream about my future and I got excited...until reality set in. How in the world can I pursue another degree when I'm still paying for my first two? Is it a wise investment? Or am I just running into something comfortable? I've probably said here before that the thing I love about school is that it's planned out for you. You have a curriculum to follow for 2-4 years. There's an end so you don't have to worry about growing stagnant. Real life isn't really like that. I mean, sure, we try to plan out our perfect path, but 9 times out of 10, we get redirected along the way. Depending on your personality, this can either be scary or exciting. I fluctuate between the two. If I'm being honest 2011 has been a year of shattered dreams so far, not just for me but for so many that I care about...financial hardship, broken relationships, sickness. It becomes exhausting, really and at times can become constraining. I shared with a friend the other day, if I didn't have my relationship with Christ, I seriously don't know what I would do. I need my faith, I need to know that everything is temporal, I need to be reminded that it's not all about me.
So, I'm trusting that with each shattered dream, a new, better dream will emerge and I'm clinging to the One who promised to never let go...
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