grace eventually.

Although there are many days that I feel like I'm ready to move away from Ruston again, this is what I would miss. Avery will be one-month-old on Saturday. In some ways it doesn't seem like she's changed that much but after I took this picture tonight, I realize she is changing. Her eyes are becoming clearer and an are amazing shade of blue; she's beginning to smile; she stays awake for hours at a time; she's looking more and more like Grant; and of course, she's getting bigger. As I was hanging out with her tonight here at my house, my mom looked over at me and asked, "Aren't you glad you're here for this?" I am. I know when the time does come for me to move to a new place, leaving her and her 2 big brothers will be hard. So for now, I find joy in the divine moments I get to spend with them.

It's recently occurred to me that I feel as though everyone around me is moving forward while I am standing still. It's a weird feeling. I'm incredibly happy for those important people in my life who are embarking on significant new journeys, but I'm feeling a little left behind. I know I won't be standing still forever...my time will come. I'm just anxious.

I'll never completely get over my first love.

The End.

Well, I have officially set up my blog page. I tried a year or so ago, about the time I joined MySpace, but due to time constraints, MySpace won out. In fact, I would say you can view my previous blogs there, however, due to the fact that I got tired of underage, foreign, skeezy men asking to be my friend, I have high privacy settings and you probably wouldn't be able to get to them anyway. So, here I am, an official member of blogger, creating a new outlet for all friends, including non-MySpacers and non-Facebookers to stay updated on my life. In light of others, my life isn't all that exciting, I suppose. I'm not moving to a new place, I'm not on some great adventure, nor do I have a baby. Sometimes this can be disheartening if you want to know the truth, but this is my life...at least for now. Although I have not personally had a baby, I do have a brand new God-daughter and she's beautiful. Her name is Avery Claire and she was born on May 23rd. I think she was only 4 days old when this pic was taken. Her 2 big brothers are somewhat adjusting. They absolutely adore her which we were all worried about from comments they made before she was born. Any moment I get to spend with her, I'm in bliss! I told Claire last night I could just hold her and watch her for hours. It's so weird. In other news, it's officially summer here in LA. It's been 6 years since I've experienced a full LA summer and let me tell you, I'm not so excited about it. I keep bracing myself for the day I'll walk out my door to be welcomed by what feels like a wall of hot air that has sucked out all the oxygen in my lungs. Now some might say I'm being a little over-dramatic here, but you have no idea unless you've experienced this for yourself. This summer I am working two jobs: Starbucks (I've been with the company exactly one year now) and Trinity United Methodist Church, my home church since college. I am the Children's Ministry Assistant. I'll have to get back to you on what that exactly means. Right now I know that I will be helping out with the older kiddos at VBS in a couple of weeks and then running a week-long camp for 6th graders in July called Vertical Xtreme. As for Starbucks, it looks like I will start training for a promotion to Shift Supervisor. I'm really excited about this. Starbucks has been a huge blessing to me as I continue to discern what it is I want to do with my life. I love the company and I love my job. To me that's a pretty important thing, but at the same time I know God called me to seminary for a reason and although I wouldn't trade that time for anything, I can't help feeling like I'm wasting my degree sometimes. So I just continue to wait for Him to tell me what He's up to.