grace eventually.

Earlier this week, one of my Starbucks regulars (who coincidentally is also a psychology prof at Tech) asked me why I wanted to pursue my Masters in Counseling. I think I just stared at him. It’s not that I haven’t thought about this question, but I wasn’t prepared to give a well-developed answer at that moment. I think I ended up saying something like, “Why, not?” and we moved on. I had conversation with another friend who’s in grad school a few days later. We started talking about what we would major in if we could start all over. I often wonder if I would’ve been better off if I had pursued my Counseling degree at Asbury instead of my MDiv. I mean, I’m not using my MDiv, and you don’t need a fancy degree to do ministry, at least not the kind of ministry I’m called to. But, the truth of the matter is, there’s no going back. Although I feel overwhelmed sometimes at the amount of money it cost for me to get that fancy MDiv, I know God used that time for a purpose and he will continue to use it as he weaves my life into a tapestry of new experiences. I just have to trust that. I’m one that’s always looking for the purpose behind things, why certain people are brought into our lives, why specific things turn out the way they do, etc. Those questions are usually never answered right away, and unfortunately sometimes they’re never answered at all.

So…getting back to my “Why counseling?” question. I’ve found that most of the time when people are seeking counseling, they are not looking for someone to solve all their problems. They’re looking for someone who will listen and help them process whatever it is they’re going thru. And, they want to know that they’re not alone. Let’s face it, when we face a challenge in our lives, we immediately think that no one could ever understand what we’re dealing with or they may not accept us. What we hopefully find out when we allow ourselves to share our true thoughts and feelings (which sometimes seem crazy to us), is that the person we finally open to has gone thru something similar and wants to journey with as we seek Christ together. These are my favorite moments of ministry. It’s the pulse of what Christ was trying to do when he was here on Earth.

“God didn't go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again.” (John 3:17, The Message)

This is my heart. I want people, specifically women, to know that they are not alone in whatever they are struggling with and with the help of some further education, to offer some additional tools and resources to move forward on their journey to wholeness.

I did it. I applied for grad school (again). I signed up to take the GRE (tomorrow). I filled out the FAFSA (gulp). I'm no longer dragging my feet. I'm moving forward (finally). I met with my friend, Tracy a couple of weeks ago. We graduated from Tech together and she's been in the program for 2 years. As we were discussing everything, she looked at me and said, "You earned an MDiv from Asbury, why in the world are you so nervous about starting grad school at Tech?" It's a valid question. I guess it's due, in large part, to the fact that I haven't been in school since 2006. My 5 year hiatus has made me question whether I can hack being a student again. She assures me I can. So, if all goes as planned I'll be enrolled in the Masters of Counseling program at LA Tech by the Fall. Stay tuned.