grace eventually.

It’s that time of year when people are getting ready to move on to the next thing. Recently graduated high-school seniors are preparing to leave for college; recently graduated college seniors are looking for their first “real” job, parents are gearing up for another year of school as we endure yet one more day of record heat wave days. Sometimes in the midst of this we forget that God is not done with us where we are today. I’m definitely one to get caught up in the “What’s next?” Ask anyone who knows me. I’m always looking forward to something, usually a trip of some sort that reunites me with people I love. But, if we’re not careful, we will miss out on what’s right in front of us.

At the same time, I have felt for some time now that God is preparing me for some place else. This week I started reading “Here’s to Hindsight” by Tara Leigh Cobble. One thing I’ve learned about myself in the last couple of years is that I’m a spiritual memoir junkie, especially the comedic ones. I appreciate women who are not afraid to share their insights, hurts, struggles, and funny mishaps that have led them deeper to heart of Christ. I read this particular excerpt a couple of nights ago and I haven’t stopped thinking about it. At this point in the story she’s living in her hometown but feeling the pull towards Nashville.

“I started to notice that life was moving and I was standing still there. I was sinking, actually. I could feel God pulling me out, slowly at first—then, all of a sudden, I looked around and I was free. And I knew that I was supposed to use that freedom to move somewhere away from Greeneville.”

Over the last year, I often felt this very thing. Everyone around me is moving in a specific direction and I am just standing still. There isn’t anything holding me here anymore. Now don’t get me wrong, my family means the world to me. I feel like through this season of uncertainty, as I’ve had to lean on my parents (again) that our relationship has grown so much stronger. I’m so lucky to have two parents who support me and want me to be happy, whatever that looks like. My God-children are growing and changing everyday. Garrett’s a pre-teen, but he still thinks I’m cool and wants to hang out with me when I’m around. Grant loves to spend the night at my house and bake cookies and make art projects. Avery still wants me to hold her and sit in my lap while we watch TV. She loves for me to take her to Starbucks to get chocolate milk and go swing on the playground. What I will one day leave behind is huge, but not as huge as what God has in store for me next. This I am certain, but today I choose to worship with my church family, to take my God-children to the movies, to laugh with friends, and to be the best I can be at my job. I believe all these things are part of God preparing me to move on, but at the same time, to not take for granted what he has given me today.