grace eventually.

Sunday in worship I was overwhelmed with missing my friends from seminary. Finding the space to worship has been quite a challenge since I started working in the church. Andy, my pastor, and I have had many a conversation about it. Sunday, for us, is work. Now don't get me wrong, the act of worship is never work but it's everything else that we have to do to give everyone else the gift of worshiping on Sundays. Often I am running around before, during and after Sunday School getting teachers different supplies, making copies, trying to find a sub for a teacher who didn't show up, stepping into one of the nursery rooms to help with a screaming child, etc. And then when I look at the clock, I realize I've completely missed church and my own chance to worship. I try not to let this happen often because the truth is, I become cynical and resentful that I have to work while others get to worship. Then the Lord reminds me that I don't have to be in a worship service to worship him...I can worship him anywhere. Thankfully this last Sunday, after a week of mayhem knows as Vacation Bible School, I got to go to the Refuge, our contemporary worship service. As I was worshipping, the Lord brought to mind each of my friends and I remembered what it was like to be in the same room worshipping together. That's what I really miss. There's something so powerful about standing next to someone in worship that you've walked through the depths of despair with or laughed with or shared your most hideous sins with and know that all that is forgiven. Even though they weren't there with me physically on Sunday, I was comforted to know that they were all worshipping somewhere else and because of the bond we have in Christ, we were and are still worshipping together. It's moments like those that make me giddy to get to Heaven. Our God is mighty to save...

Mighty to Save
by: Hillsong
Everyone needs compassion
Love that’s never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
The kindness of a Saviour
The hope of nations Saviour
He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever Author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave
So take me as You find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender
Shine Your light
and let the whole world see
We’re singing
For the glory
of the risen King

My friend, Hannah got married this weekend. It was beautiful. She's only 20 which seems so young to me but then again, I know I wasn't ready to get married that young. After the wedding I went back to the hotel where some friends were staying. Now many of my friends these days are younger than me...Starbucks tends to hire college students. I don't mind this. I've met some great people but it's always funny to me when I meet new people and my age comes up. It's usually the same conversation...one of my friends will say, "Guess how old Cynthia is." Then we wait for their response. I usually get 24 which is fine by me...I mean, who can complain when they're told they look younger than they really are. On Saturday, however, I was really surprised when I was told I look 22! I only wish I felt 22! This past weekend has kicked my butt more than normal. My body just doesn't feel up to par. I can't really explain it; I just know that I may look 24 but my body is definitely 31. Today I was supposed to head to Annual Conference but instead I chose to spend the day in my bed in hopes that I can shake whatever this is. I've been watching movies and trying not to feel guilty thinking about all the things I need to be doing. What's weird is that usually when I spend a day watching movies I choose things like Pride and Prejudice, Hitch, 27 Dresses...you know, those girly movies. Today I've been watching Batman Begins and Swat. Maybe I'm getting in touch with my masculine side.