This time every year for the past 3+ years, you would find me at the Gwinnett Center in Duluth GA for the annual Catalyst Leadership Conference. Incredible leaders of all types come and impart their wisdom upon pastors and church leaders from all over the US. Up and coming worship leaders take the stage and lead us into heartfelt times of communion with the Lord. There's nothing quite like worshiping with literally thousands of other believers in one place. There's also times of crazy skits and attempts to create our own Doritos commercial for the Super Bowl which sadly did not win last year. What stands out to me the most about this conference is not all the hoopla, but how God always shows up to speak directly to me. Without a doubt, each October I'm entering into some kind of hard season. Questioning my purpose, my role in ministry, my worth as his beloved child. Every year one or more speakers stands up and speaks directly to these doubts and brings me to a new place of assurance that I AM NOT ALONE. Ministry is by far one of the most challenging jobs one can do. It's easy for your own spiritual well-being to be put on the back-burner as you attempt to lead others to the foot of the Cross, proclaiming the very truth that you yourself have lost sight of.

Last year, I remember spending the day before the conference sick in my hotel room, looking up jobs in Nashville, schools that offered good counseling graduate programs, and praying with all my might that the Lord would reveal to me what His next steps for me might be. I was still at Trinity, but even then I could sense that my time would be coming to an end soon. I didn't share this with many people, just my close friends scattered across the globe who were fervently praying for me. This year I'm sitting at a local coffee shop, wishing so much I was at Catalyst, only this year I'm not questioning. Had the Lord revealed to me what He had in store for me this past year, I probably would have been in disbelief. He is faithful. He brings about change in ways we never thought we could handle. He introduces us to new people that step in and commit to walking the journey with us.

Last year, like all the years before, I left Catalyst feeling rejuvenated and certain that God had not abandoned me, but was continuing to mold me and to shape me into something that only he could create. I just have to trust him and be willing to jump into the unknown WITH HIM. Because when we finally let go, we find we have nothing to lose.

Today as we celebrate the life of a great leader and innovator, I leave you with this quote from Steve Jobs:

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything -- all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.... Stay hungry. Stay foolish.