grace eventually.

Coping with depression is not easy. There are days when I choose to stay in bed and hide under the covers all day. It’s not necessarily productive, but sometimes it’s what I need. For those of you who struggle with depression, I’ve decided to share a few of my personal forms of therapy with you. Now in order for this therapy to be effective, it often times requires laying down your pride and asking for help. I struggle with this often, but the truth is, we can’t survive on our own. None of us can.

Family. When I moved to Columbia, the Syferts graciously let me live with them for six months. During that time I fell even more in love with their two girls. Since then I have asked them if I could use their home as a place of refuge when my depression is heightened. They welcome me any time, no questions asked, no invitation needed. I am so grateful for them and the way they love me.
Creating. I love projects. I think that’s why my home is always changing. I get restless and need to create something. Whether it’s painting a canvas, taking pictures, or making Christmas ornaments, this is a way for me to calm my soul. It doesn’t have to be something extravagant. It’s really just about finding a hobby, something you enjoy doing.
Community. One of the first things God blessed me with upon my arrival to Columbia was my Community Group. I sort of fell in to them since the Syferts were already a part, but it’s a perfect fit. One thing I especially appreciate about them is how they take care of me and want to be a part of my life: the good, the bad, and the ugly. We are a broken group who desires to love well and to show that love to the people we encounter on a daily basis.
Walking. Now this one is not always my first go to, but it’s one of those things that is good for me not just emotionally, but physically. There’s a park close to my house that I’ve found that’s perfect to disengage with the world for a while and reconnect with God through creation.
Killian. My dog, Merlot, lives with my parents. I’m not allowed to have a dog in my apartment, plus Merlot’s grandparents refuse to part with her, but in the meantime, I’ve met a wonderful, sweet, loving 60lb lab named Killian. She and I have weekly sleepovers and she provides me with a great deal of comfort when she’s around. I can talk to her about anything and I know my secrets are safe with her and it doesn’t change how she feels about me:-)
Gilmore Girls. This is a silly one, I know, but I love this show. It’s witty, clean, and full of eclectic people you grow to love. I own all seven seasons and I have it on rotation in my DVD player quite often. I enjoy disengaging at the end of the day by watching an episode or two. It just works for me.

The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. -Aristotle

Recently I was visiting a friend on my way back from Columbia after a few days at home. His brother and I somehow got into a conversation about depression. He was sharing about a girl he knew who had committed suicide. He talked about how she always came across as one of those people who typically seemed happy all the time. As the conversation continued, he mentioned that he didn’t understand how anyone could end their lives voluntarily. I sort of cringed. This is a common statement for people who have never dealt with depression. Now before anyone starts calling any emergency hotlines (MOM), let me set the record straight. I am not suicidal. However, I will admit I have been so far in the depths of depression that I have prayed to God to just take me. In moments like these, I know I’m not rational. The pain overtakes everything else and it’s hard to see past it. After talking to close friends and my counselor, I decided that a therapeutic way for me to deal with my own depression would be to write about it. My hope is that my writing will be informative, especially for those who have never struggled with depression. Now, I’m not an expert on the subject. Most of my writing will be from a personal standpoint.