grace eventually.

I knew my life had been insanely busy lately, but I didn't realize how busy til I remembered that I haven't blogged in almost a month! I mean, I know you have all been waiting with bated breath to read my next post:) Let's see, in the last month I've said goodbye to 3 good friends and got word this weekend that another kindred soul passed away. Ironically I was out of town when I got the news...running away from the reality of my sadness here in Ruston. Funny how I've yet to learn that you really can't escape. The last time I went out of town was for a girls weekend trip for my birthday back in March. It was then I learned Andy was moving to Lubbock. I've been joking with everyone that I'm not going out of town anymore, lest I get bidded with more bad news. I've got enough change on my plate to get me through the end of the year, thank you.

In other, more positive news, Avery turned 3. This is from her birthday swim party. The girl is obsessed with Monsters, Inc., especially "Boo" so I had to search cyberspace to find her this doll since that movie is several years old. She loved it, of course. I'm constantly amazed at the things she says. One day Pop (Claire's dad) was talking to her about something and in the midst of that said her name. She looked at him and said, "Pop, my name is Petey-Pie!" She has a lot of names, but apparently Pop's nickname is her favorite:)

Happy.
Anxious.
Confused.
Sad.
Disappointed.
Content.
Loved.
Uncertain.
Creative.
Annoyed.
Nervous.


This sums up all the emotions I've felt since the last time I wrote. And this is the girl who makes me smile the most.

Yesterday in church we sang "Shout to the Lord." I was in college when I first heard that song so it's obviously a little dated but without fail, I always get choked up when we sing this line, "Mountains bow down and the seas will roar at the sound of Your Name." I get this vivid mental image of this and it seriously gives me goose bumps. I realize not all my readers get this. I have a few friends who don't share my Heavenly allegiance, so they probably think I'm crazy about now, but I guess unless you've experienced Jesus Christ firsthand, you just don't get it.

Today I heard my God-daughter laugh for the very first time! It wasn't her first time to ever laugh but the first time I got to experience it. It was the greatest sound ever!

I have a new addiction...the tv show, Heroes. My best friend told me that if I started watching it that I would love it. She was right. When it started last season, I just couldn't fit another show into my life. I had Lost, Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, House (occasionally), Gilmore Girls and Studio 60. Gilmore Girls ended last year and Studio 60 was cancelled (stupid tv critics!). Since Lost doesn't start til January and two of my shows are no longer, I thought I'd try it. I went to Movie Gallery last Friday and picked up the first disc. I watched it all in one sitting, got back in my car and got the second disc! This past weekend I've watched discs 3, 4, and 5. I only have one left...3 episodes!!! I found out today that after spending close to $20 on renting the first season, my friend John has had them all along. He's bringing me the last disc tomorrow! I have another crazy week ahead of me so it may be Friday before I watch it, but at least I don't have to worry about late fees! I'm 3 episodes behind on the new season, but thanks to the great technology of the internet, I can catch up in no time!

I think I probably say this at every stage a baby goes through, but I love the stage Avery's in. She's 3 and 1/2 months now and smiles and coos all the time! She's given up the paci and moved on to her fingers. Sometimes I look over and she has most of her hand shoved in her mouth. I couldn't resist sharing a piece of my night with her. She was hanging out in her bumbo chair while we were watching Big Brother 8.

This is Avery at 2 months. Isn't she so dang cute?! Where the heck did those 2 months go? Next weekend I get to practice being a mom. Claire and Chris are taking the boys to Branson while me and the rest of her family play the Avery shuffle. I'll have her all day Friday and will be staying a couple of nights with her. I'll let you know how that goes. I do have an update on my recent pros/cons list, but I'm just not ready to share it yet. Soon, I promise. Thanks for checking in. Hope you're all doing well. If you get a chance, check out some of my favorite blogs to the left. I just found out that my old roommate from Chicago, Cindy, and her husband Dan just bought a house in Brooklyn with another couple and they're renovating it to live and also to rent out one of the floors. They've made some major progress and the 3rd floor apartment looks great! I'll be in touch soon. I open at Starbucks tomorrow for the 5th time since last Tuesday!

Although there are many days that I feel like I'm ready to move away from Ruston again, this is what I would miss. Avery will be one-month-old on Saturday. In some ways it doesn't seem like she's changed that much but after I took this picture tonight, I realize she is changing. Her eyes are becoming clearer and an are amazing shade of blue; she's beginning to smile; she stays awake for hours at a time; she's looking more and more like Grant; and of course, she's getting bigger. As I was hanging out with her tonight here at my house, my mom looked over at me and asked, "Aren't you glad you're here for this?" I am. I know when the time does come for me to move to a new place, leaving her and her 2 big brothers will be hard. So for now, I find joy in the divine moments I get to spend with them.

Well, I have officially set up my blog page. I tried a year or so ago, about the time I joined MySpace, but due to time constraints, MySpace won out. In fact, I would say you can view my previous blogs there, however, due to the fact that I got tired of underage, foreign, skeezy men asking to be my friend, I have high privacy settings and you probably wouldn't be able to get to them anyway. So, here I am, an official member of blogger, creating a new outlet for all friends, including non-MySpacers and non-Facebookers to stay updated on my life. In light of others, my life isn't all that exciting, I suppose. I'm not moving to a new place, I'm not on some great adventure, nor do I have a baby. Sometimes this can be disheartening if you want to know the truth, but this is my life...at least for now. Although I have not personally had a baby, I do have a brand new God-daughter and she's beautiful. Her name is Avery Claire and she was born on May 23rd. I think she was only 4 days old when this pic was taken. Her 2 big brothers are somewhat adjusting. They absolutely adore her which we were all worried about from comments they made before she was born. Any moment I get to spend with her, I'm in bliss! I told Claire last night I could just hold her and watch her for hours. It's so weird. In other news, it's officially summer here in LA. It's been 6 years since I've experienced a full LA summer and let me tell you, I'm not so excited about it. I keep bracing myself for the day I'll walk out my door to be welcomed by what feels like a wall of hot air that has sucked out all the oxygen in my lungs. Now some might say I'm being a little over-dramatic here, but you have no idea unless you've experienced this for yourself. This summer I am working two jobs: Starbucks (I've been with the company exactly one year now) and Trinity United Methodist Church, my home church since college. I am the Children's Ministry Assistant. I'll have to get back to you on what that exactly means. Right now I know that I will be helping out with the older kiddos at VBS in a couple of weeks and then running a week-long camp for 6th graders in July called Vertical Xtreme. As for Starbucks, it looks like I will start training for a promotion to Shift Supervisor. I'm really excited about this. Starbucks has been a huge blessing to me as I continue to discern what it is I want to do with my life. I love the company and I love my job. To me that's a pretty important thing, but at the same time I know God called me to seminary for a reason and although I wouldn't trade that time for anything, I can't help feeling like I'm wasting my degree sometimes. So I just continue to wait for Him to tell me what He's up to.