And the award for biggest crtic goes to...

12:53 PM

I'm amazed sometimes at how certain things can affect me...things I have been trying to train my mind not to let bother me as much as it does. For example, when I fail at something, I equate it to me being a failure, which is in no way true. I am my worst self-critic. Today I went up to Starbucks on my lunch break to say hi to some friends. My manager, Lori, was there whom I absolutely love and she mentioned that she had received a poor snapshot on me. A snapshot is a random once-a-month survey on how we're doing. I was working the front register that day which means they were rating how I took their order and how I treated them. This person said that I didn't speak to them, make eye-contact, or even take their order. I just gave them their total and took their money. My guess is that we were really busy (it was done right before 8am) and one of my other co-workers took their order in advance so that when they got to the register all they had to do was pay. I can't imagine not making eye contact or not saying anything. I have no real context to evaluate my own performance. As Lori and I were talking about it, she looked at me and said, "Now I don't want you to worry about this. I just wanted to make you aware." I wish I was able to do that...to think objectively about the situation and move on, but it's not that easy. I've been upset about it ever since I left. It reminds me again how important it is to not identify myself with my circumstances or those things I do...or not do, but instead remember that who I am, my worth, is found in God alone. This is what I'm always trying to teach other women, especially the college girls I interact with that are struggling to find their identity. The fact of the matter is that I'm still learning it myself at the age of 30.

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