I got off work at 11:30 last night and realized quickly how tired I was not. I always get this window each night that I need to go to bed if I'm actually going to fall asleep. Once that window passes, I know I'm going to be up til the wee hours of the morning. Last night was one of those nights, so I drove around for awhile. It was a perfect night to have the windows down. I can finally feel fall starting to set in. When I was in college I had a set path I would drive whenever I needed to get out of the house or some time to just be alone to think and pray. It's weird driving that same path now at 30 thinking about my life then, my life now. My prayers are not all that different, some of the same longings remain. I became aware of my impending loneliness all over again. Last night I remembered a day back in college when I had driven to the prayer garden on the outskirts of Ruston. I had just found out that my best friend, also coincidentally the love of my college life, was getting married. I felt lost and confused. I wondered if I would ever be happy again. A few months later the Lord took me in places I never thought I would go...Chicago, then seminary. He's provided me with the best friends a girl could ever have, but there are nights like last night when I still feel like I'm missing something, someone...a person to share my life with. At the same time I know marriage is not perfect...I have friends who have shared their struggles being a wife and mother. It's a huge committment, but still one I hope to be a part of someday. I was listening to Matt Wertz as I was driving...this is the song I kept coming back to.

Windows down as the night blows in
Tap the beat on the wheel as the tires spin
Until we're there crank the radio
We'll join in with the songs we know

Hey, everything's right, said everything's right tonight
Hey, everything's right, said everything's right tonight

Smiles light up as we walk in
Old conversations begin again
Nostalgia's thick as the August air
It takes us back to a time when we didn't care, we didn't care

Hey, everything's right, said everything's right tonight
Hey, everything's right, said everything's right tonight